Financial Feminist (Review)

“The patriarchy realizes that when a woman gains the knowledge to build wealth, soon it will have no control over her life or decisions.”

— Tori Dunlap, Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy’s Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love

The vibe

book / notebook / pens / stickies / candle / calculator / lipstick

About the book

Investigating this financial literacy and wealth gap, Tori Dunlap found that girls are significantly less likely to receive a holistic financial education; we’re taught to restrain our spending, while boys are taught about investing and rewarded for pursuing wealth. In adulthood, women are hounded by the unfounded stereotype of the frivolous spenders whose lattes are to blame for the wealth gap. And when something like, say, a global pandemic happens, we’re the first to have jobs cut and the last to re-enter the workforce. It’s no wonder money is a source of anxiety and a barrier to equality for so many of us.

Tori founded Her First $100K to teach women to overcome the unique obstacles standing in the way of their financial freedom. In Financial Feminist, she distills the principles of her shame- and judgment-free approach to paying off debt, figuring out your value categories to spend mindfully, saving money without monk-like deprivation, and investing in order to spend your retirement tanning in Tulum.

Featuring journaling prompts, deep-dives into the invisible aspects of the financial landscape, and interviews with experts on everything money—from predatory credit card companies to the racial wealth gap and voting with your dollars—Financial Feminist is the ultimate guide to making your money work harder for you (rather than the other way around.)

The review (but not really)

OK, this is less of a review and more of my experience with this book.

I picked up this book hoping to improve my own personal finances and be a more confident owner of adult money — and do so in a safe, judgement-free space. But, I was scared.

I mean, seriously, so scared.

Talking about money for me is scary!! First of all, I don’t have a ton. I’m a journalist, and I’ve used this notoriously underpaid industry as an excuse for… well a decade. I don’t own a home, I’m unmarried, and no one calls me mom. (I mean, my cat would, but she can’t speak human speak.) So I’ve never had a reason to confront my finances. Also, I’m in my 20s so retirement is so so so far away, I could win the lottery between now and then and all that early saving was a waste of time! What do you mean I’m 31 and literally have never bought a lottery ticket? Ugh, fudge, guess I’d better get my life together.

I had *general* financial goals. They were to travel internationally annually, buy a townhome to create my own library office combo, and not be homeless when it’s time to retire. But no, I never sat down to do the math on how to make those dreams a reality. I spent my money when it was time to book that flight, and put money into a HYSA when my checking account had too many dollars in it (rare) and, alternatively, withdraw when the opposite happened (thankfully, also rare).

Note: I’m also extremely lucky that I got a full-ride to college so I don’t have loans to deal with (ugh, I am only more and grateful for that as I grow up), and my grandparents set me up with an investment fund that I never touch except to occasionally add money into. (Ok I’ve done that once and only once.)

Then, the first of my big goals started becoming a reality. My rent is expected to go up significantly this year. I road the COVID cheap rent wave but now the ride’s over. And, because I’d rather not have to move to another apartment which will undoubtedly raise my rent annually and force me to move again, I thought it was time to plant some roots (who is she?! This does NOT sound like me up until like two years ago). I’m just tired of moving all my dang books and the idea of not doing that every two years sounds amazing. So, the plan is to transfer my investment fund money into real estate (hey I hear that’s less risky! No?)

The point is: it was finally time to confront my demons. And the best news? It wasn’t scary at all.

What I learned

The book is outlined into 7 chapters, and they were all complementary while also being each their own massive and broad topic. I learned a lot, let me hit you with the highlights.

• The Emotions of Money. What emotions do you have tied to money? Money is psychological — it just is. Every transaction has a feeling associated with it. And your money goals are going to be different from others — personal finance is personal. I have a lot of shame associated with spending — the patriarchy and its bestie, capitalism, makes you feel this way. ESPECIALLY as a woman. We’re taught that the only way to be wealthier is to stop spending your money on designer handbags, you silly goose! Shame on you. Meanwhile men are taught to seek out jobs they aren’t qualified for, negotiate hard for raises, and invest in the *super risky and elite* stock exchange.
• Spending. Spending is not inherently evil and, unless you have some sort of shopping addiction, it’s probably not the reason for your lack of wealth. We all spend money, but the way to do it responsibly is to be mindful with your purchases. Did you spend money emotionally and regret it? Or did your purchases bring you joy? Did you buy something because you think you should have it? Break the habit of spending on things you don’t actually want or need, and deploy those funds into things that make your life better, whether that’s new shoes or lil christmas sweaters for your cat.
• The Financial Game Plan. “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Wow, that hits. This section built off the spending chapter and broke down three buckets of where your income is going: necessities (rent, food, gas, etc.), goals (retirement, debt, etc.), treat yourself (eating out, travel, tv subscriptions). You need a plan with how your income breaks down into these sections, aka, a budget.
• Debt. Debt is kind of a necessary evil. Who among us has not had debt?? Even me, “miss pays off her credit card in full every month, doesn’t have a mortgage, went to school for free,” (this sounds like a humble brag but I realize how lucky I am, rest assured) had a car payment for three years. Debt happens. Just make sure you’re optimizing your payback strategy — and avoid taking on more debt at all cost.
• Investing. Phew, where to begin with this one. Oh, I know. Tori keeps it super simple: You cannot afford not to invest. Retirement is the single most expensive thing in your life. Not your wedding. Not your home. Not your kids (unless, IDK, you have like several of those suckers). Set yourself up with a retirement plan asap and contribute the most you can AND make sure that money is invested into actual funds and stocks. Women live longer than men on average, plus they make less annually. See how messed up our world is? Your retirement savings should equal what you spend in a year x 25. Figure out what 65+-year-old you would want to spend annually (are you traveling the world or chillin in a cabin?) and do the math. It’s a big expensive scary number and you’ve got a deadline to get there. Also, the stock market is a long game and it’s not as risky if you think about it. According to Tori, 88% of investors make a profit if they leave their money in for 10 years or more.
• Earning. This section was a great reminder on knowing what your expertise is worth — either as an employee or a business owner negotiating with potential clients. Tori shares her tips on negotiation — from never be the first to say a number and how to find your market value to encouragement to broach the pay topic with employees and others in your industry. Want to start a side hustle? There’s a section on that too.
• Living a Financial Feminist Lifestyle. Unfortunately, reading the book (and taking dozens of pages of notes) is only step one. It’s a lifelong journey — you need regular check-ins with yourself (make it a money date! order food and open a bottle of wine). This chapter also talks through the importance of voting with your dollars.

Whew, I feel like I’ve written a (deeply personal) book report, and I’ve only skimmed the surface of all the helpful tips this book has. I definitely recommend getting your hands on this book. As scary as it was, I feel so much more confident (like across the board, not even just about my finances…) and I’ve already taken the first actionable steps:

• I filed my taxes via a money date with my mom (she was there for emotional support and lasagna providing)
• I called my credit card company and asked for an increase in my line of credit (to ensure that I’m using less than 30% of it so as to maintain my already incredible 790 credit score — that IS a humble brag)
• I set up a spreadsheet to track my spending for April (in order to see what emotions I have associated with my spending)
• I unsubscribed to things I felt no longer served me (WHY tf did I have two peloton subscriptions and a stamps.com membership?????!)
• I made savings plans for some of my financial goals (a London trip and the aforementioned townhome!)
• Still on the to-do list: Cancel one of my 3 credit cards, set up an investment account I can contribute to, check in with my Roth IRA to confirm it’s doing its thing, negotiate a raise at work (yikes).

But…. After this book, I’m a lot less scared of doing any of that.